Padme's journal
by haleyskywalker2
Summary: Padme's journal when Anakin is presumed to be dead. I dont know the real story so this is my verision. GEORGE LUCAS OWNS STAR WARS AND ALL THE CHARACTERS NOT ME!
1. Chapter 1

**Hope you all like this. I haven't read about when Anakin is presumed to be dead so im just making this up, but hey that's what fan fiction is right. Please review!**

Dear A.S,

The holoreporters say that you have died, that you crashed during your search for chancellor Palpatine. I make myself not believe what the reporters say, but when they showed a picture of your fighter crashed on some deserted world its hard not to. The searchers found no sign of your body only a trail of blood which stops at some point. I won't give up hope that you're alive not today, not tomorrow, not ever. Not even when they find your body I still won't believe them. I love you A and I hope were ever you are that you're safe.

Love,

P,A,N,S

**I know extremely short. What do you think. **


	2. Chapter 2

**I've been thinking that after I'm done with the two stories I'm working on I might make one about how Anakin is during this time of the story. Hope you like. Please review **

Dear A.S,

Today has been a terrible day for me. I woke up this morning and reached for you beside me and realized you weren't there that you weren't beside me to tell me "good morning" life you always did. I remember that there was a possibility the next time I see you I'll see you dead. A tear trickled down my face and then another one after another. I longed for you to be here to wipe away my tears or to hold me close whispering soothing things to me. Finally I snapped back to real life to actuality to reality. I got out of bed like I normally did and walked in the kitchen to poor me a glass of milk when the worse thing hit me. Instead of going to the kitchen I ran to the refresher to throw up. I lay against the wall feeling nauseated. After a while I finally got up and had me a glass of water and crackers for breakfast and watched the news about the latest politics that's when I saw a news article about you. Master Yoda and Master Windu said they haven't been able to feel you in the force and it could either mean that your dead or something is blocking your presence off in the force. I started to feel nauseated again so I decided I would lie back down for a while. I woke up to the sound of my comlink going off. I looked at the clock on the nightstand beside our bed and noticed it was 1700 in the afternoon. I quickly got up to answer the comlink, but it was only captains typho checking to see if I was alright because I haven't left the building yet? I quickly reassured him that I was fine. I also asked if he could tell the senate I wouldn't be in for the rest of the day. He told me how would which was a relief. After I ended the conversation I had another pack of crackers and lay back down again. I just woke up not to long ago to write my day down. I'm so tired; I don't feel all so great. I have only eaten crackers all day. I don't know what's wrong with me. I love you A. I hope to see you soon. I think I'm going to lay back down for the rest of tonight.

Love,

P,A,N,S


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter is going to be a little bit longer then the last two. There is a little surprise in this chapter so I hope you like it. Thank you for all the reviews and I hope for more to pop up. Thank you. **

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Dear A,S,

Sorry it's been a week since I last wrote there have been a lot of things happening lately in the lovely world of politics. There has been a mob of people standing outside the senate building wanting to just re-elect a new chancellor into the chancellor seat. I along with many other senators disagree with this move because chancellor Palpatine is not dead yet well at least we hope not. Many people just don't understand that war going on can cause different things like this. More and more star systems are joining the separatists because we don't have a chancellor Palpatine in office right now because he has been kidnapped. Many senators and queens don't even know how to deal with a crisis like this with the war and the chancellor being kidnapped that don't know what to do. This shows that the leaders the people put in office that promised they would do their best and said they were able to deal with a crisis situation can't do what they promised and shouldn't even be in office. A leader is supposed to reassure those who are scared, confused, and are lost during this dreadful time but now who are they supposed to look up too when the leaders can't even do the job their supposed too.

The clone wars still rages on and the Chancellor has been kidnapped by a separatist general, Grievous. I think if the Jedi and Republicans turned their attention to capturing or even killing Count Dooku we could possibly end this war right now since after all Count Dooku is the leader of the droid army. It could also be easier to find General Grievous and destroy him once and for all and bring back the chancellor. This dreaded clone wars could finally be over and the galaxy could finally be at peace with no war, no sith, no battles, and no more scrambling crazy politicians just peace and I would love to enjoy my peace with you that is if your still alive by the end of the war, which I pray, wish, and hope that I would be able to see you again, but if you don't survive I know I can at least remember you died a hero to me and many citizens of the republic. I hope you are alive though. I wish to see your handsome face in the morning, to hold your cold mechanical right hand or to feel your cold hand brush across my cheek and feel your soft lips on mine. I truly miss you and I Love You.

I have some very important news to tell you so I'm going to just come out and say it well really write it. I'm Pregnant! Were going to be parents to a child that the both of us created together. Just thing you're going to be a Father and I'm going to be a Mother. I wish you were here to share this wonderful moment with me. How I found out you may ask? Well then I'll just have to tell you the whole story.

For the past two weeks I have done nothing but thrown up. Everything I eat seems to leave my body faster then it did enter. I also have been sleeping a lot more then normal which are the best thing except I can never get to sleep at night. My wonderful eating habit that I set up were you know I don't eat as much well that has just gone down the drain in the kitchen sink. I eat constantly now and everything I lay an eye one it's like it has a big sign over the food saying 'Must Eat' and it crazy. The food I used to hate with a passion have just became the best thing that I have ever eaten in my life like those little cheesy bombs you absolutely love that I hate well I eat them now. That milk you drink constantly that is blue and that I complain because it has a different color to it. I drink that now and water. I started to notice all these signs and the first thing that popped in my head as hey I might be pregnant. I remembered a couple months ago I had bought a 'at home pregnancy test' just in case I might need it. Sure enough I need it today but I just don't know were I put it at. I went to the fresher and looked thru all the cabinets and sure enough I found it at the back of a small white cabinet that was filled with make up and hair supplies. After thinking a while on whether I should take the test or not I came to a conclusion that I should take it just to be safe. Once I was done I sat it behind the toilet seat and paced around the bedroom until I felt like I was about ready to fall asleep on the floor. I decided to lie in bed and take a short nap well instead of a short nap it came out to be a 12 hour nap. That's the shortest nap I have ever taken.

I woke up the next day and looked over at the clock sitting on the nightstand on the side of your bed and realized it was exactly 1200 hours Coruscant Time. I slept half the day away already. I started to feel something slowly crawl up my throat and that gave me a warning that I needed to head to the fresher like A.S.A.P. I jumped out of bed and ran to the fresher to relieve yesterday evening's meal in the toilet. I grabbed a cloth and damped it with warm water and I wiped my face to get the digested food off. I noticed the pregnancy test sitting behind the toilet. I sat there on the fresher's cold floor thought about what I wanted the test to say. At first I wanted the test to say negative on it and to know that all I'm dealing with is a virus of some sort. I didn't want you to be expelled from the Jedi order and I didn't want to be told by the queen of Naboo that I'm not allowed to serve as a senator for her anymore. I also wanted to test to say positive on it and that I would be pregnant with a baby no our baby. I realized I wanted a child to raise as my own to have a little of you in the baby's personality and a little of me and to look like the both of us. I decided it was now or never and started to reach for the pregnancy test still on the back of the toilet seat and realized I was scared of what I'm about to find out and I noticed my hands were shaking like crazy. I picked the test up and closed my eyes and brought it toward my face then I opened my eyes to see what it said. I wanted to cry tears of joy but then I wanted to cry because I was scared because what I read said only one word '_positive'. _The one little word is a bigger word then many people may think. It meant I was pregnant that I am carrying a child of ours. '_How could this be' _I wondered toward myself. '_I mean we took all the precautions we both took the pregnancy pills to prevent you from having a baby'_. Then I realized that one night we didn't take the pills because we didn't have any and that one night been all it took for me to become pregnant. I sat there on the cold floor of the refresher and I couldn't hold my sobs back anymore and I let them go so I sat there crying for two hours holding the small pregnancy test that said _'positive'._

Love,

P,A,N,S

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**So tell me what you think. This one was a little longer then most I know. **

**People who are also reading '**_**the adventures of Luke, Leia, and Anakin Skywalker'**_** will either be posted tonight, tomorrow, or next week because I'm having a hard time with the next chapter.**

**Thank You.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **_I want to give special credit to 'Eradyne' because in her story 'A Touch of Destiny' she refers to someone, not saying to must for spoiler reasons, who is having a baby and she believes she has lost her husband gives up all hope until she remembers that she is still carrying part of her husband inside of her and promises that she will make sure her son knows all about his daddy. Her story gave me an idea of part of this chapter and I want to Thank Her._

_**Dear A.S,**_

The Past week has been a little better. I haven't heard much about you on the news or anywhere else. Even though that only means that there is a possibility that you are dead and there is also a possibility you are a live since no one has found proof yet.

I have been tired and hungry so much lately; well I guess that is what happens when you're pregnant. I have been late to work four times this week from sleeping in to late. I have changed all my meetings to later in the day because the morning sickness doesn't hit me until I'm at work. I'm also constantly eating more than I normally eat and when I'm done I feel so bloated and usually after a while if the baby doesn't like the food , I'm back in the fresher and then hungry again. I can defiantly tell this child is yours because he is picky with his food and constantly hungry.

If you are dead, you are not entirely dead because I'm still carrying part of you inside me. I promise I will tell all about you to our child. I will tell him stories of your adventures that you have told me and adventures we have shared. I promise you that he or she will know their father. I hope that you are alive to be able to be apart of our child's life in person not by stories.

I have come to a conclusion that our child is a boy but I am not certain it could be a girl. I just got tired of calling our baby an it. The reason I think he is a boy s because he is like you in so many ways with being picking and always hungry an also people say that if you are constantly vomiting than you might have a boy.

I'm sorry to cut this letter short but I must be going to work. I love you A and I won't give up hope not yet not ever.

_**Love,**_

_**P.A.N.S**_

_**A/N #2: **__If you have any advice like while pregnant I would really enjoy it, because I have no clue about pregnancy only when the baby is born. Thank You and please Review!_


	5. Chapter 5

**Dear A.S.,**

I do realize it has been quite a while since I last wrote to you. I have been busier than ever at work. It has been a whole month since the chancellor was kidnapped. I know the Jedi have tried on numerous occasions to hunt the man who took him, Grievous. The Jedi have been to the darkest part of this galaxy and back, and still has had no luck.

In happier news, I spoke to Obi-Wan Kenobi last week; he was delivering me an update on the search for the chancellor as I have been delivering the same statements to the rest of the senate. I asked him if they have had any luck on your search. With bright eyes, he replied "Hasn't anyone told you? He never went missing. He and I have been busy with the Jedi's demands in other parts of the galaxy." I simply smiled as I realized that I hadn't spoken to Obi-Wan in a few months as well. Obi-Wan bowed then said "I must go milady, Anakin waits for me in the outer rim." I wished him luck, and watched him depart from my apartment. I sighed in relief, but was still worried by the fact that you have been in the outer rim alone for the past days.

Lastly, I went to a doctor here on Coruscant who I paid to not tell a word that I am pregnant. The droid ran full tests on my body, and the baby is healthy. I didn't want to know if it was a boy or a girl. I want you to tell me when you arrive home. Maybe you can feel what sex the baby is. What if I am carrying twins? I didn't want to know.

Anyways, I need a nap. Being six months pregnant can take a lot out of someone. I love you A. Come home safely.

Love

P.A.N.S


End file.
